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Success Principle #4: Be a Hypocrite, Not a Follower

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Be a Hypocrite, Chances Are You Already Are

On first impression, you may be surprised that I seem to be recommending for you to "be a hypocrite."

Let me put that into some context, as that's not quite what I mean.

(this topic applies to your personal life, not your professional/business life)

As I state in the video below-

"If you are/appear to be [a hypocrite], in the the eyes of others...

Who fucking cares?"

The goal of "not being a hypocrite" or "not being seen as a hypocrite" really shouldn't factor into your decision making process, actions or goals for your personal life. If, for some reason (such as you have a certain image/agenda to uphold because you are in a leadership position), it has to- I still encourage you to minimize its significance.

Avoiding "hypocrisy" is usually a 'nice guy' thing where people care what others think.

You can probably see where I'm going with this.

"Be a Hypocrite, Not a Follower"

Table of Contents

0:00 Velvet Revolver- Falls to Pieces

0:10 When I say "Be a Hypocrite..." I mean...

0:40 Do What You Want. Always.

1:00 I'm not saying "Lecture People" (become an annoying moral authority), I'm saying Do What You Want regardless if boring judgmental people call you a "hypocrite".

2:00 Example of an issue (abortion) that no one is changing their mind on.

3:20 No one likes to be lectured on topics they don't even care about/cant change.

4:00 Definition of Hypocrite, (Mer.Webster)

5:50 DO WHAT YOU WANT ALWAYS, YOU WON'T HAVE REGRET

6:00 Example 1: Chris went to 6 different Undergrad schools

7:20 Example 2: Chris used steroids and hurt his knee/hair line... Doesn't regret it.

8:30 Example 3: Girl at Grocery Store (Hypothetical)

10:30 Christian Cross Example

11:45 Random Story of Super Hot Church/Party Girl Peeing on the ground (everybody thinks she's a hypocrite, but she could care less)

15:05 Douchebag or Pussy? Both or Neither.

17:25 Health Freak or Drug Addict? Both or Neither.

19:15 It doesn't matter if you don't "fit in" to some average boring stereotypes.

21:15 More hypocritical/double identities that I've had (Tough Guy or Pussy) (East Coast vs. West Coast)

23:55 This one kid who wanted to pick up girls thought his Christian background was to blame for his lack of success- So he became a Devil worshipper for 2+ years but still didn't get laid. (HONEST TO GOD, TRUE STORY)

27:30 Remember I'm talking about your personal life. You should be consistent if you are running a business or something like that.

28:20 Conflicting advice that I give, it may or may not apply to your situation.

30:10 My advice to myself today is different than my advice a few years ago

33:10 Be ALL OVER THE PLACE... DO WHAT YOU WANT.

33:40 Boring non-competing Bodybuilders

34:10 People live by a set of rules that they've been handed and never question

36:00 If your goal is to fit in, then ignore all of my advice, it won't help you.

36:20 Your funeral will be boring if you lead a boring life

37:00 Defining Success

37:30 Bill Gates vs. 50 Cent

38:00 Successful people are hypocritical and it doesn't prevent them from doing anything

38:35 Popular politicians are the scum of earth and they are super successful

40:00 Conforming, Non-Conformist doesn't usually know what they want.

Hypocrite Defined

"A person who acts in contradiction against his stated beliefs."

One thing I do want to mention is- DON'T LECTURE PEOPLE.

(yeah, that's me lecturing you)

Nobody likes a fucking know-it-all.

Often Mr. Know-It-All-Tell-It-All has no actual experience, as he's been too busy "knowing it all."

Do What You Want and You Won't Have Regrets

(video- 5:45-10:00)

I always say-

Do what you want and you won't have regrets, even if the outcome isn't what you might have been shooting for.

It's true.

It's the time when you don't do what you want, that you may regret.

Looking back at my own life, this has pretty much been true across the board, especially in the cases where I didn't necessarily get the short-term or long-term outcome I had hoped for.

In the video at (starting at 6:00) I talk about transferring colleges several times and using anabolic steroids

NOT DOING WHAT YOU WANT, ISN'T AN OPTION.

(AND IT SHOULDN'T BE)

It's like you saved $100 to go to this high-end steak restaurant; you get excited about it for weeks. Finally, when you go, it's not that great. It's okay, not bad, but- not great. Do you "regret" doing it? Probably not. You made up your mind several weeks prior that you were going to go and although the outcome wasn't as advertised, you probably don't "regret" it.

Not going WASN'T AN OPTION. So there's no reason to dwell on it. And You Wouldn't. 

You saved your money and got all excited about it- you were going to go NO MATTER WHAT. It wasn't like, 15 minutes before you could have thought- "I should leave now, I might regret this... I gotta get out of here!" Not an opinion.

DO WHAT YOU WANT.

IT WILL BE THE RIGHT DECISION, REGARDLESS OF THE OUTCOME.

If you DO WHAT YOU WANT, you don't even need to put a "positive spin" on stuff (... well now I know that steakhouse isn't so good!) to justify the outcome or the result. I'm the type of person where- when I make up my mind, THAT'S IT. There's no other options and it's full speed ahead. Sometimes it takes a little while to make up your mind. That's fine.

Sometimes DOING WHAT YOU WANT might make you a "hypocrite," to other people. That's fine. Continue to live on your terms and let them sort out the paperwork.

NOTHING IS REAL. EVERYTHING IS A CONCEPT.

Multiple people have advised me to stay away from this 'how-is-this-a-really-controversial?' topic.

But here we go-

If you might have noticed, I wear a cross around my neck. My mom gave it to me.

Every once in a while a committed Christian or devout Atheist will write in calling me a "hypocrite," obviously- for opposite reasons. The Christian doesn't think that God would approve of me talking about Getting Laid/telling guys how to meet women (or anything I talk about); likewise, the Atheist is upset because he thinks I'm on "his team" and tells me I "need to lose the cross."

I get what they are saying. A 2nd grader can understand it.

But-

I don't really care.

(Nor do I lecture people on "How to be a Christian" or "How to be an Atheist.")

Things such as Christianity, Atheism or whatever- they are CONCEPTS made up by people in order to categorize people for convenience. Their meaning is subjective, and in my subjective opinion- it doesn't really matter if you do or don't stay consistent with these concepts, unless you are TRYING TO fit a stereotype.

I'm neither trying to say/prove I'm a Christian or an Atheist, as that's not exactly the focus on GoodLookingLoser.com (most people notice this). It was a gift that my Mom gave me and I wear it because I want to, regardless if it doesn't make sense to Christians or Atheists who have a concept of what "one of us" should look, be and smell like.

Because I like to use extreme examples that I have come across- I used the Christian vs. Atheist example. But this applies across the board on so many concepts that are seemingly at odds.

Here's a bunch more "hypocritical" behaviors that people point out-

I say I have a lot of respect for women, but I don't really have a problem texting them 'hey u sexy little bitch'.

I consider myself a health freak, even though I use drugs.

I hate pop music, but I like Lady Gaga.

I like to date healthy girls, but at least 50% of the girls I date are smokers.

I think people that dress up to be seen in LA are full of shit, but I do the same exact thing.

I dislike the notion of Americans "living off welfare" but I've never had a real job.

(there's probably 500+ more...)

One thing that has stayed consistent is- the Net Effect of being (seen as) a hypocrite in my personal life is usually 0. Arguably, it's had a positive effect- I do what I want. And I recommend the same to you.

People who have time to keep score of "how hypocritical" others are... usually don't have much of a life.

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Hi, Chris from Good Looking Loser. "Get a Life" is our safe for work, non-adult site that features lifestyle, health/fitness and style information. Feel free to leave a comment!

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  • VJ

    Dude,
    You should just host your own videos. It sucks that youtube would do this. Every single post has such value.

    Like 0 Short URL:
  • Branko

    hey video is not working anymore,it says that account associated with this videos has been deleted.Can you please re-upload it? Thanks

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  • Hey I fixed it, thanks for letting me know

    Like 0 Short URL:
  • I have to agree and disagree on the point made about people not changing their minds. I agree on almost everything except abortion. You basically picked the one-off case where it doesn't apply to people who are pro-abortion. They are an anomaly due to the fact that they have one of the highest rates of side switchers than any other moral dilemma.

    Case in point Roe herself switched side and is now Pro-Life. There are thousands of documented cases of not only pro-abortionists changing sides but people working in the industry, doctors, nurses and even planned parenthood workers and higher ups. There are literally tens of thousands of women who were completely pro-abortion until they had one themselves and that number jumps to over a hundred thousand when including pro-abortion women who have had a child.

    That said it could very well be that the lecturing had nothing to do with it. My personal belief is that this has happened so frequently because of the power of prayer. Abortion is one of the most fervently prayed about issues on the planet. God answers the fervent prayers of the righteous. I believe if we prayed more fervently, more frequently and with a more positive expectation of results on other issues we could change the world without a single lecture.

    God Bless

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  • Blade

    Understanding that there are exceptions for every rule doesn't make you a hypocrite. The people that criticize you for being a hypocrite probably don't understand this.

    If we all blindly followed rules without common sense and thinking for ourselves in order not to appear "hypocritical," we'll end up hurting ourselves. We'll end up with mediocre results and disappointment.

    BTW, good website.

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  • gangbang

    amen i say! I remember reading this book called Influence by Robert Cialdini (its all about the psychology of persuasion) and apparently the average person is psychologically really motivated to be consistant in terms of what they say and what they do because they want their self image in the eyes of others to be congruent. so basically it seems the average person fears being seen as hypocritical cos they care about the image other people have of them. Too bad for them since being hypocritical means you can do what you want and be much happier!

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  • I think it comes with maturity too. I'm 30 and I honestly could care less what 99% people say. When I was 20 I cared what 99% of people said. A lot of life experience in between, but just getting older there's more responsiblity and less time to get caught up in he says/she says

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  • Cheeese

    This is definitely me as well. During my whole life, ive been part of different groups because my mother is catholic and my father is muslim. I spent my whole life trying to satisfy both parents since they are divorced, so my views on everything are all fucked up because the views in both religions on varoius subjects like girls, partying, morals, etc. are different. i think that transitioned into my development when growing up. I think i am always seeking approval of everyone and making sure everyone is happy and not worrying about myself. ssk08, you said it, things change and my happiness should come first. I work so much that i hardly have time to go out and socialize. I need to have fun. Since ive found GLL, ive found a new outlook on life and believe that it can help me change in a positive way. Im very happy that i can talk to you guys about personal things because i dont have any brothers and most of my friends in LA live kinda far, are busy with work stuff also and all have GFs or are married. Most likely they have their own business to deal with other than mine. This is the case with my friends in NY as well.
    I cant wait until my social (and sexual, but thats another issue) life changes. And when it does, i owe it all to you guys at GLL especially Chris for being the Don and putting all this together. Thanks again

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  • haha thanks a lot cheese. This whole thing of connecting achievement with hypocrisy is actually new to me. its funny, i get called a "douchebag meathead" by kids who never go to the gym -- and bodybuilders think I'm "soft" and a "pussy" when I hit on girls at the gym... ive realized the more stereotypes I break, the more well-rounded and successful I've been...we'll talk about sexual anxiety fairly soon too. Thank you for writing in

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  • ssk08

    This is so me. I realized I was wasting time thinking of principles instead of following my instincts a year ago. I change my mind about stuff all the time. Cancel trips, quit your job, work on AA, etc. Things change, happiness goes first.

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  • That's a good insight man

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