By viewing this website- you agree to our General Disclaimer and Medical Disclaimer

Read More

Affiliate Disclosure: At absolutely no expense to you, if you make a purchase, we may receive commissions from some links on this website. That is how our community supports itself. I don't recommend anything that I have not used personally or believe in. Thanks!

Get Informed

How to Build Self-Esteem (My Advice For Guys With Low Self-Esteem)

on in Get Success
  • Font size: Larger Smaller
  • Print

How to Build Your Self Esteem & Why Self-Esteem Is Overrated
(and Why You Need to Stop Worrying About It)

There's a special type of insecure guy out there.

He is destined for success but isn't sure if he really is.

He might be you.

He was me.

He has below-average self-esteem.
He is less secure than he should be.
He has an inferiority complex.
He has a chip on his shoulder.
He quietly compares himself to his friends.
He beats himself up too much. 

He knows he has these emotional issues and does his best to hide it, usually successfully.

Around normal people, he appears normal, he's just one of the guys.

But not quite.

Quietly behind the scenes, he is obsessed with his future and has a relentless work ethic to compensate for his perceived shortcomings.

He doesn't even know why he is so obsessed.

He just considers himself to be ambitious and a hard worker.

Day after day, month after month, he just keeps working, not always clear what his goal actually is and quits plenty of projects that he thought he was passionate about.

He just wants to win at life. 

Some way. Somehow.

He's determined to make it. 

He wants financial freedom, women and simply to feel good about himself.

He just keeps working, trying to make his life work.

If this is you (it was me) - 


You are on the right track.

"How to Build Self-Esteem (My Advice to Guys With Low Self-Esteem)"
(Video contains content that isn't in the post, and vice-versa)

The Self-Esteem Success Myth

Self-improvement, in its many different forms, focuses on overcoming your insecurities in order to build your self-esteem.

The theory is -

If you can beat your insecurities, then you will build your self-esteem.

This new empowerment (self-esteem) will allow you to become successful.

If only you can beat your insecurities - then you will have it made!

Makes sense, right? 

The true masters of every craft have unbreakable confidence, they have the "it factor". After all - that is how they got there.

Not exactly.

In fact, the complete opposite may be true. 

Tucked away on the Internet (on communities such as this), far away from the useless mainstream "Be Confident!", "Never Be Insecure!" and "Believe in Yourself!" advice, is the theory that insecure people with low esteem end up becoming more successful. At least far more successful than the average person.

They simply care more about winning.

They simply try harder and are willing to torture themselves to figure out their life.

Insecure people, the special type, have a stronger work ethic and it eventually starts to pay dividends.

While there are plenty of examples of insecure people with low self-esteem who are lazy and always bitching about why they can't get ahead, there's just as many "secure" people that are far too comfortable and never really do anything with their life.

There's been studies on this, but I prefer to simply look at myself.

I had below-average self-esteem and was deeply insecure in my early 20's.

Out of sheer insecurity, whether I knew it or not, I spent the majority of my 20's "working on myself" in some form or another.

Progress was slow, I rarely saw immediate returns and I considered myself an underachiever every step of the way.  

It wasn't until age 26 that things started to come together and began to make a little bit of sense. 

There was nothing magical that happened at age 26 though, other than all my "preparation" began to slowly manifest itself.

First came the success, then the self-esteem.
(that's how it works)

From age 26-29, it was with women.

I moved across the country and finally got out of my shell. All those hours in the gym and tugging on my dick in my early 20's certainly helped.

From age 30-33+, it is helping guys in their 20's and 30's and getting paid for it.

I put 50 to 100 hours into 12,000 word posts such as "28 Things I Really Wish I Did (Or Didn't Do) In My 20's" and have started 4 (soon, 5) different successful profitable businesses in about 3 years.  

It's all because I had below-average self-esteem and did my best to compensate (or cope) by working on myself in my 20's.

I figured it out.  

You will figure it out too.


self esteem banner

Pour Conclure

The point is -

While low self-esteem and insecurity isn't a "good" thing, it's definitely not as bad as everyone makes it out to be.

It's all about what you do with it.

Low self-esteem and insecurity can be your best friend and make you a winner someday.

Or it can tear you apart and keep you a loser.

The cure for low self-esteem and insecurity is SUCCESS and not convincing yourself otherwise (also known as "accepting yourself").

If you have low self-esteem or if you are insecure - don't worry about it.


Stop with the self-reflection and looking for deeper meaning in why things are the way they are.
(I used to be incredibly introspective in my early 20's, that was a HUGE problem)

You need to be working. 


Work some more.

As many hours as you can.

7 days a week.

The reward is -

You'll figure it out.

This isn't a "motivation" post.

It's a how-to post.

This is how guys become millionaires in their early 30's.

This is how guys win in the end.


In reality, chances are, you probably don't have much worse self-esteem than the average guy, you just think you do because you care more about your future.

You've convinced yourself that you have self-esteem problems.


Use your low-self esteem and insecurities to WORK.

The self-esteem, emotional security and indifference will come.


Hi, Chris from Good Looking Loser. "Get a Life" is our safe for work, non-adult site that features lifestyle, health/fitness and style information. Feel free to leave a comment!

Leave your comments

Post comment as a guest

0 Character restriction
Your text should be more than 10 characters
Thank you very much for commenting, I appreciate you taking the time to write in.
Your comment and short questions will usually be approved and answered within 48-72 hours.
If you have more comprehensive question or something that you would like to have answered sooner - I encourage you to sign up for the 'Good Looking Loser Forum'.
Most questions will be answered within an hour.
terms and conditions.
  • Interesting angle. I've never heard this before. It makes sense though. Confidence is basically the mental follow-through on anything you pursue in life.

    How has success personally changed your confidence levels?

    Good stuff man keep writing!

    0 Short URL: Reply
  • Zeus

    1 of the best reads on self-esteem is Nathaniel Branden's six pillars of self-esteem

    "Some years ago, in my group therapy room, we hung on a wall a number of sayings that I often found useful in the course of my work. A client made me a gift of several of these sayings done in needlepoint, each with its own frame. One of these was 'It isn't what they think, it's what you know.' Another was 'No one is coming.'

    One day a group member with a sense of humor challenged me about 'No one is coming.'

    'Nathaniel, it's not true,' he said. 'You came.' 'Correct,' I admitted, 'but I came to say that no one is coming' " -lesson: this life of yours is 100% your responsibility.

    0 Short URL: Reply
  • clatter punk

    Even if we don't admit it we all have insecurities. We get insecured for petty things that lead us to thinking how miserable our lives are. If we beat our insecurities doesn't mean we beat low self esteem. It will only show how mature we are and how we appreciate what we have. I think the secret to success is being happy with what you have and not comparing yourself to others. If we feed our greed then we cannot be happy because greed has no limit. Well thats just my thoughts on the corelation of self esteem, insecurities, and success.

    0 Short URL: Reply
  • Pretzel

    This site in a nutshell:

    -work hard
    -boobs again

    Haha! Glad to be on board!

    0 Short URL: Reply
  • agent choco

    Hi! Broke college student here.,was wondering what jobs will I pick to not just earn money, but also score some hotties and expanding my network of friends., there's a coffeeshop and retail store a few blocks from my dorm., did you work part-time during college?

    0 Short URL: Reply
  • Nashville

    GLL my man..! Much of what you talk here are your past experiences: girls,gym,drugs,college,parties,etc.. now that you are 33 what do you do for fun? are you happily married and have kids now? are you still pickin' girls from time to time? do you still party that much?what are your goals now that you havr already pulled off a good stunt in your younger age from a douchebags perspectives?

    0 Short URL: Reply
  • Hey Nashville -

    Neither. Not married, but not picking up girls. All business, Im in a committed relationship though.

    0 Short URL: Reply
  • Gray

    "Stop with the self-reflection and looking for deeper meaning in why things are the way they are."

    life is too short to worry soo much. Just because im not worrying too much doesnt i care less. Sometimes its better to not give a fuck and let luck take over.

    0 Short URL: Reply
  • Jigzzz

    Teacher, sensei, guru, you name it. Lead me to unveil my full potential and all the pussybitilies!

    0 Short URL: Reply
  • Macky

    Hey gll, thanks for sharing your thoughts and insights. However i was more intrugied with your businesses. I assume you are a full time blogger and can pretty much live comfortably wih the income from it. Corrct me if im wrong though. Aside from ad sense and affiliate marketing, what are the other money making streams from making a blog? Im planning to start my own business and is hoping it would turn out to be stable so id quit my job and go full time.

    0 Short URL: Reply
  • Hey Dude-
    there will be a post on this in the next 24-48hrs.

    0 Short URL: Reply
  • Likewise

    Hey Chris,

    Out of topic, just wanna ask you about muscle building. I've been pumping iron for about 6 months now but I cant see much progress. I look lean but I wanna build more muscles. If diet is the problem then what food group should I focus. And do you have a recommended routine for me to try out? I can do intermediate exercises with no problem.

    Many thanks,

    0 Short URL: Reply
  • It's not the routine, so long as you are sore the following day. Post your diet in the forum and we'll go through it.

    It's NOT the routine.

    0 Short URL: Reply
  • Zero

    Hey Chris,

    Out of topic, just wanna ask you about muscle building. I've been pumping iron for about 6 months now but I cant see much progress. I look lean but I wanna build more muscles. If diet is the problem then what food group should I focus. And do you have a recommended routine for me to try out? I can do intermediate exercises with no problem.

    Many thanks,

    0 Short URL: Reply
Load More
T3 mouthwash insulin frozen food Teeth Whitening Barleans Ephedra Collagen friends Gym Motivation oxiracetam raw how to whiten your teeth cholesterol motivation Volcano Blackhead Facial what not to wear Buyer Protection facial Testosterone Levels guide to style jeans Everything Happens For a Reason Winter 2013 Style Guide Return Policies spices Male Pattern Baldness Startups Elevator Shoes affiliate marketing Spartan Lifestyle vegetables Nothing in Moderation pimples cargo shorts Fall Fashion Happy Hippo Affiliate Program Coconut Milk Red Pill Necklace Winter 2014 Style Guide sunglasses healthy fat Carbohydrates beard oil insecurity RU58841 Anti-Anxiety YouTube kava 6 Pack Height Increasing Shoes hormones Productivity secret malic acid vegetarian Final Verdict Get Style Winter 2015 Guide to Style Best of 2015 activated charcoal African Black Soap Lipodrene scam diets How to Gain Weight aspartame Propecia SPF vegan pramiracetam Goals Zero Carb Protein yogi kava tea Dr. Collins soft toothbrush Good Causes fasting Victor Pride Protein Supplements piracetam Ugly Christmas Sweater RED BURNER gym gear Androgenic Alopecia noopept SMP protein shake regrets Time Management Tom Hopkins Kohls FDA Dollar Shave Club Isopure How to Make Money Online eggs Ketosis Plastic Surgery cancer bullying Bold & Determined How to Stop Being Negative vitamins herbs Fall 2015 Guide to Style Danger & Play Allergies skin care oliver stone Aztec Clay self-esteem garcina cambogia Jobs Cool Stuff How to Lose Weight kombucha study aid anti-aging cologne Online business Estrogen smart drugs Corporate Influence heart disease DEMAND Principle weight gain optimizing testosterone shoes guide to style Stop Smoking Cosmetic Surgery humidifier Personal Finance style Progesterone bubble butt triglycerides audiobooks phenibut Dutasteride role models Have Fun Friendship standard capitalism How to Stop Hair Loss Guide Beverly International Invicta Watches Spring 2017 Guide to Style supplements best foods to eat Hair Restoration toothpaste Radiesse Xenoestrogens anti-cancer Spring 2016 Guide to Style Fantasy Sports smell great Minoxidil shaving Nordstrom 2014 sweats Ketoconazole Dairy Costco Vitamin B17 xtend Get Rich dry skin food pyramid coconut oil Liquid Egg Whites jeans soy Micropigmentation Spartan Entrepreneur Major Retailers acetic acid Height Summer 2016 Guide to Style TRT Blood Work negativity Success Summaries (Books) Tom Butler-Bowden Block DHT Regenepure Botox MMA Racetams Amazon Building a Website how to get out of your comfort zone Parsley Skin Care Guide thyroid Toppik Winter 2013 Guide to Style How to Get What You Want Winter 2014 Guide to Style Hormone Replacement Therapy Fitness Skincare crows feet College Acne Hair Transplants Fighter's Diet Life or Death Test Accessories Nutrition 101 DraftKings pants Be Yourself Summer 2015 Guide to Style Adrenal Fatigue Bitter Apricot Seeds Hair Loss apple cider vinegar Is Organic Worth It? define success Best of 2016 artificial sweeteners North Korea Accutane Nootropics cooking mentor oily skin moisturizer HGH How to Make Money Summer 2014 Guide to Style How to Start a Website Books Testosterone Killers Lubomyr Zuberi Fall 2016 Guide to Style preventing wrinkles Opalescence Testosterone Namastain focus Get Success cardio Anxiety Alternatives Cereal Killer recommendations GLL Success Principles splenda dog tags weight loss Foo healthy protein depression DermMatch BCAAs Perfectionism networking accepting yourself Adovart shorts stevia Clean Your Room Get Paid Podcast Gluten Tanning Guide Spring 2014 Guide to Style Bread hats Good Looking Loser Body shirts clear skin Concealing Hair Loss Experimental Research soap Financial Success sugar Lipogaine Best of Get A Life fruit juice Best Muscle Foods Things I Wish I Knew tanning Douchebag fashion fine lines and wrinkles Fruit diets How to Make Friends Vornado hoodia Dietary Supplements Kratom How to Stop Smoking padded underwear Spring 2015 Guide to Style contributors Fat Loss Money Smoking Cession Anti-Irritability beanies Finasteride special foods workout clothes Untold History of USA accountability Social Media Copycats and Repackagers Positivity Chocolate Silk Dietary Supplement Industry Fall 2014 Guide to Style Lifestyle USDA How to Move to a New City Almond Milk Body Fat Hyaluronic Acid Squats Will my idea work? Odd Jobs Breakfast Licorice Root goal setting Oatmeal Glycemic Blackheads Get Ripped appetite suppressants Kale Get Paid organic Pasta Proscar Juvederm Winter 2016 Guide to Style ephedrine

GALWrap2Newsletter For Losers

Subscribe to our mailing list

Bonus free content, hidden gems and updates

* indicates required

We will never sell your email or spam you.
Ever. Love you. ~Chris