How to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
(and Start Living Up To Your FULL POTENTIAL)
(Good Looking Loser.com Superstar Contributor)
This is the 5th installment in our much celebrated "Success Principles".
Forward by Good Looking Loser
Like most successful blogs, we use endless propaganda and an array of mind control tactics to tell our readers WHAT and HOW to think, while also highly discouraging you from thinking for yourself.
Such thinking is dangerous and can lead to masturbation.
Plus you might TAKE ACTION, improve your life and not need to read the blog anymore. We can't allow that.
Today, however, you are briefly permitted to think for yourself and even encouraged to spend 30 minutes doing the exercise below.
(Thank you, Dear Leader!)
I don't usually have much "introspective" stuff on the main blog because it discourages action (even though it may make me look "smart"), but this piece on "Comfort Zone" by Zuberi is well done and it's something that he has legitimately expanded.
~A year ago he couldn't go on dates , had approach anxiety and was playing "hard to get" with average girls that already liked him. Now he is sleeping with some of the prettiest girls in his entire city. Zuberi had a lot going for him. His looks, style and general coolness (swag factor) were all significantly above-average. His challenge was ALMOST SOLELY in expanding his comfort zone, executing and not getting distracted by other bookworm "authorities" that offered nothing but non-applicable insight.
Needless to say, Zuberi has had some of the fastest and best success of anyone on GoodLookingLoser.com and will continue to.
A Comfort Zone is a Scary Place to Be
Do the following exercise for a minute-
- Draw a big circle- the outer circle symbolizes your FULL POTENTIAL.
- Place one dot in the middle- this dot is YOU.
- Now make a circle around that dot- this circle is how you feel you are currently LIVING UP to your full potential.
I know. It’s pretty scary at first.
A couple years ago when I was depressed and miserable, I read about this exercise in a book called Psycho-Cybernetics. It blew my reality wide open.
In the beginning, it probably looked something like this:
I always felt I was underachieving, but now I actually visualized it and that’s when things started happening. I want you to do the same, because it’s such a liberating insight.
By actually SEEING that you are underachieving, you will know that you need to take more/different actions to reach your FULL potential.
But here is the cool part:
Perceived Limits are Just That- Perceived.
Once you start taking more action consistently in different directions (I’ll talk about this in a minute) you will be expanding your ‘potential’.
Ultimately, you will reach a point that feels like this:
Only to discover that it’s actually more like this:
We often believe that there are limits in our lives or that we are simply not ‘that guy’. But it’s not true. It’s just perceived potential. It’s what we think we are worth and capable of because we listened to society and people around us too much. Start dreaming again.
COMFORT ZONE & POTENTIAL
Now here is the cool thing. Your COMFORT ZONE equals your FULL POTENTIAL. The more you PUSH out of your comfort zone, the more you will grow as a person and thus, expand what is possible and what you believe is possible (your perceived potential). I’ll give you an example:
When I just started ‘cold approaching’ chicks after having met Chris, my initial perceived potential was probably along the lines of-
"If I could bang just two girls this year that would be awesome."
I sure as hell wasn’t COMFORTABLE walking up to random chicks, let alone screen them- but I did it. It’s where the FUCKING MAGIC HAPPENS.
Pushing my comfort zone consistently allowed me to grow as a person, meaning-
- gaining new insights (and actually applying them)
- gaining a new, healthy outlook on life (and actually apply it)
- improved confidence and perception (that I actually use)
- improved skills with chicks (that I actually use)
- improved lifestyle (that I actually live)
After a while, I was living up to my initially perceived ‘full potential’ (banging two chicks). Then I discovered that this is nothing and that I deserved and could do MORE. Guess what? My perceived potential changed, and I expanded my comfort zone even more. Now banging 2 hot & different chicks every month if I put in the time & effort is perfectly doable. That’s because I pushed. You need to do the same.
Initially your comfort zone & full potential will look like this:
After taking action beyond your comfort zone repeatedly it will eventually look like this:
And then like this:
Sound familiar? It should.
Are you GROWING or DYING?
Pushing your comfort zone over and over and over again means that you are growing. It could be slow, it could be fast, but you are growing, which is the opposite of DYING.
Think about it.
A tree is always either growing or dying. It might be dying at a very slow pace, or growing at a very slow pace, but it will always be one of the two; it’s never just ‘there’.
A book has a front (positive) and a back (negative). If I would open the book, it would still have a front and a back. Each page has a front and a back. Even if the page was so small that it could only be seen with a microscope, it would still have a front and a back.
A battery has a negative and a positive.
It’s such a fundamental thing in life but we seem to forget it. There is no ‘in between’.
Look around you next time when you are walking down the street. Most people look and feel miserable. They never REALLY push themselves. They think that "that’s just not who they are," and they never even THINK about EXPLORING their perceived boundaries by taking action.
And you know what? That's just not who they are.
That's a choice though and it was meant to be for certain people.
What you fear is generally something that is beyond your current comfort zone.
Talking to that hot chick in a group with five other girls for example, might be something you fear.
What I found is that-
- When you IDENTIFY a fear
- You need to face it AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
- And Destroy it.
That’s when you will be growing rapidly, and making huge gains in life.
The lives we live are bound only by our current fears.
This is what you should do-
1) Write down THREE things that you currently fear, but know deep down are things you NEED to do in order to GROW-
- talking to hot chicks
- saying no to people
2) Then decide on SPECIFIC ACTIONS that would give you the BEST results in the LEAST AMOUNT OF TIME -
- get skydiving certificate by *April 20th, 2013*
- start AA program on *April 21st, 2013*
- say NO every time you are having doubts *on going*
How do you know you are on the right track?
An easy way to know if you are on the right track (apart from just gut feeling, which we all have) is by asking 2 basic questions-
- What do I put in?
- What do I get out?
It’s just like one of those kinetic ball things you had when you were younger:
If you grab ONE ball and let it hit the others, ONE ball will bounce out , not two, not three, just one.
Because you only put ONE in. If you grab TWO, there will be TWO balls bouncing out.
Simple. I swear, life has so many abstract solutions for problems that supposedly are so complicated- it’s amazing.
What you put in however, does need to be DIRECTED. I could be practicing basketball for ten hours a day, but if I actually want to play baseball, I’ll be wasting my energy. This might seem like a weird comparison, but it’s just the way life works.
|What you put in (ACTIONS)||What you get out (RESULTS)|
|Nothing||Still afraid of heights|
|NO APPROACHING||No sex|
|Saying no sometimes||Situations you don’t want|
Like Chris mentions, your #1 Goal should also be your #1 Priority.
If it's not, you probably aren't going anywhere fast. Misapplied time and energy is a recipe for stagnation, quitting and ultimately- failure.
I strongly suggest you write down your current RESULTS in different areas of your life.
Then ask yourself: What actions am I taking and are they directed?
If it turns out you are putting in a shitload of work (actions) but your results suck, you need to change your approach (DIRECTION).
Things don’t magically improve.
- No girl magically comes by and wishes to fuck you or be your girlfriend (only in the movies because it's FICTION).
- You don’t magically get ripped.
- You don’t magically grow a bigger dick.
- You don’t magically get a social life.
- You don’t magically improve your financial situation.
Instead, THINK about (and write down)-
- Your biggest fears
- What those fears are doing to your life
- SPECIFIC ACTION steps that you can take TODAY to start to kill those fears
Then make a plan that begins with the SPECIFIC ACTION steps listed above.
The fear you target should be the one you MOST want to kill.
Make it your #1 goal and #1 priority.
Work on that one until it is done. Then find another goal to slaughter. Repeat.
Ultimately, you’ll realize that there is so much more in you than you ever thought possible.
My goal with this article was to make you realize that there is so much more you can do, be, and have- you just need to blossom and grow into a big powerful tree.
"Insight or intelligence not applied is not insight or intelligence; it's called - a waste of time."
- Good Looking Loser